Archive for Counseling Blogs
Internet Safety Contract
Posted by: | CommentsIf your children are using the Internet, it’s good to set rules so they know what’s acceptable when they are online. Bsecure Online has developed an Internet Safety Contract for you.
Download the Internet Safety Contract, read over with your children explaining why it’s important they obey the rules, then post the contract in a visible place as a reminder.
Behaviorism?
Posted by: | CommentsAccusation: What you are doing isn’t really unique. It’s only a species of Behaviorism.
This false charge has been made by those who have a propensity to lump together all things that sound similar. Their problem—and it’s a serious one—is that they read and think carelessly. They have little power of discernment; they do not know how to make valid distinctions. “Adams speaks of ‘behavior,’ he talks about ‘reward and punishment.’ Ergo, he is teaching behaviorism.”
But long before Watson or Skinner ever drew a breath God was speaking of behavior, reward and punishment. Dare we call Him a Behaviorist? Hardly. God regularly traces outer behavior to the “heart.” By heart, He means the inner person. Outer action is but a result of the inner thinking, determining, etc. Nowhere is changing the outer person alone a solution to man’s problems. Rather, that is Pharisaism. Since sin is a “inside job,” salvation must be too. Inner regeneration is necessary to produce outer changes that please God. Works (outer behavior) must flow from faith (inner belief); neither is sufficient without the other.
Moreover, in behaviorism, the goal is to reward the desired behavior immediately in order to make it stick. In the Bible, true reward is delayed until eternity (Cf. Hebrews 11:13-16; 24-27). And, God-pleasing behavior is governed not by manipulation and “control,” but by inner desire to please God. Always keep in mind 1 Peter 1:14b-15, 18-19:
Don’t shape your lives by the desires that you used to follow in your ignorance. Instead, as the One Who called you is holy, you yourselves must become holy in all your behavior…knowing that you weren’t set free from the useless behavior patterns that were passed down from your forefathers, by the payment of a corruptible ransom like silver or gold, but with Christ’s valuable blood.
See the difference? The conclusion? “Be deeply concerned about how you behave during your residence as aliens” (1 Peter 1:17). Nouthetic counselors will continue to do so!
No More Bible Bandaids #3
Posted by: | CommentsIn this last article I want to suggest a possible conversation with Joel that takes seriously (1) an approach to Scripture as an unfolding redemptive story that centers on Jesus Christ and (2) an approach to Joel that takes into account his experience as a saint, sufferer, and sinner. I want to revisit a text I mentioned in the first article—1 Cor. 6:18—but use it in a multifaceted way. What might a snippet of conversation look like?
You: Joel, thanks for being willing to sit down and talk. I know a lot has been going on, with your parents in the midst of divorce proceedings.
Joel: Yeah. I never believed something like this could happen—it’s rocking my world.
You: I also know that you really feel burned by Melissa. [Joel looks down]. You must be struggling with a lot of anger and disappointment right now.
Joel: What can I say? I’m ticked at my parents, Melissa, even God. I’m tired of playing the Christian game anymore. At least the non-Christians I know aren’t pretending to be someone they’re not.
You: It’s interesting you put it that way. In some ways I feel you are pretending to be someone you’re not.
Joel: What do you mean?
You: Well, I was reading this passage, 1 Cor. 6:18-20, earlier this week and I thought of you. Could I share a bit?
Joel: OK.
You: In this passage Paul is urging repentance from sexual sin and. . .
Joel: I don’t want to hear this.
You: Wait a minute, I want you to see something else first. Let me read verses 18-20. [Reads the passage]. Paul is not just pulling commands out of thin air. He’s building an argument for sexual purity by stressing the identity of the Corinthians in Christ. They’ve been incorporated into God’s Story! He’s saying they’ve—you’ve got the Holy Spirit. You’ve been bought—redeemed—at great cost. You’re united with Christ. You’re not your own.
Joel: So?
You: That’s your true identity. Joel, I’ve known you for nearly 10 years, since you were just a kid. I’ve seen the authenticity of your faith. I’ve seen you live out the reality of your connection with Jesus. I’ve seen God’s grace in action in your life. I know that over the last six months or so the suffering that you’ve experienced has clouded your vision, made it hard to see who you really belong to. The choices you’re making right now aren’t in line with your real identity! It’s like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.
Joel: Well, I’m not sure who I am anymore.
You: C’mon let’s grab a cup of coffee. Let’s take a walk and talk further. . .
While this is a highly idealized conversation, compressed for the sake of illustration, I hope you see how different this approach is from a “take two verses and call me in the morning” approach to ministering the Word. By keeping our eyes open for the ways in which any passage connects with Jesus Christ, and by approaching people as saints, sufferers, and sinners, we are better prepared to bring the riches of Scripture to bear on the realities of life. No more Bible bandaids—for Joel, or for anyone else!
(Adapted from the book: CrossTalk: Where Life & Scripture Meet, New Growth Press, 2009)
Mike Emlet is a counselor and faculty member at CCEF.
To share this article with your friends, you may use the buttons below to email or post it to various social media outlets.
Remaining Essential to a Fruitful, Eternal Life
Posted by: | CommentsRevived once more, the old Higher Life view of “abiding” in Christ has raised its head. Essentially, what it says is that if you “abide” (never exactly defined, but some sort of spiritual super-state of existence), then you will automatically receive all the blessings of sanctification instead of working for them by the power of the Spirit. A careful reading of the passage (esp., John 15:6) show that all who don’t abide (lit., “remain”—the passage is talking about eternal security—perseverance of the saints) will be sent to hell (thrown into the fire). If one does abide, he is urged to obey (notice how often the word “commandments” occurs in the passage). He will be pruned to bear fruit; but if truly in the vine, united to Christ (and not spuriously seeming to be so), he will be with the Lord forever. This commandment to “love,” don’t forget, is backed up by Jesus’ words, “If you love me keep my commandments” (John 14:15).
Greeks and Barbarians
Posted by: | CommentsA modern marketing technique is to target the sort of people that your church wants to reach. The young, upper middle class is a common group, for instance. Hardly hear of anyone targeting the feeble and decrepit, however (unless they’re the moneyed sort)!
Is this targeting a biblical strategy?
Consider Paul’s words,
I am a debtor both to Greeks and Barbarians, to the educated and to the ignorant.
Romans 1:14
Sounds like if you asked him to do so, he’d go on to mention just about every other sort of person. And, as we shall see, that’s just what he did. Can’t see the apostle targeting a certain group—can you?
In his congregations there were all types. People, for instance, who had qualifications for elders or deacons. Those who did not. The wealthy, and those who couldn’t afford lunch for the Love Feast.
James, also, was very careful not to make distinctions between the wealthy and the poor—both of which he served without respect of persons.
When you read Paul’s use of the word “barbarians,” don’t think of people like Atilla the Hun (though I believe Paul would have taken him on). The words “Greeks and Barbarians” in the Mediterranean culture of the day meant “everyone.” The word barbarian was used to describe everyone who wasn’t Greek or Roman. It comes from the sound that the Greeks used to describe what foreign languages sounded like: “bar bar bar.”
So, if you want to follow Paul’s strategy for evangelism and building churches, then you’ll target both the Greeks and the Barbarians in your community! Sound like the right kind of targeting?
Is Your Teen Sexting?
Posted by: | CommentsSexting is sending sexually explicit texts and photos via cell phone. This has become an increasing trend among teens. Lawmakers are having a difficult time deciding how or even if, sexting should be prosecuted. Sexting could, and has been considered child pornography. But since the motivation behind sending such texts is different than that of child pornography it has become a legal gray area. So the debate continues of whether sexting is a crime or just teenage foolishness.
Regardless of what lawmakers eventually decide, teens still need to understand that these images and messages may not be kept private and sending them can have other negative consequences. According to a 2008 survey by The National Campaign, 20% of teens have texted or posted online nude or semi-nude photos of themselves. Between 36-39% of teens said it was “common” for the sent images to be shared with someone other than the intended recipient. So one innocent photo sent to a boyfriend or girlfriend’s cell phone could easily wind up being circulated around the locker room. This could hurt the sender’s reputation, be potentially illegal, and cause all kinds of emotional ramifications. But in the split second it takes to snap a photo, the teenager is probably not thinking about any of that.
The best way to help your teen avoid a potentially painful and embarrassing situation is to talk with them about the possible consequences of sexting. Remind them that nothing is truly private. Let them know your expectations regarding cell phone usage and social media. An Internet filter can be used online to help you monitor what your teen is doing on social media sites and in chat rooms. This is probably a good indicator of how they use their cell phones as well.
Have you embarrassed your child on Facebook lately?
Posted by: | CommentsAn AOL survey of teens show that close to 30% of teens on Facebook are considering unfriending their parents and 16% say they are leaving Facebook since their parents signed up. A sited called “Oh Crap! My Parents Joined Facebook” has gained popularity and receives approximately 20 submissions per day of teens sending in embarrassing posts from their parents. For example, one of the posts is pictured below:

I must admit; that would have been extremely embarrassing if that would have happened to me when I was a teen. We parents certainly don’t mean any harm. We just want to be connected to our children. It seems our want for connectedness and protection of our children by friending them on Facebook is making them want to leave.
Social networking has become quite ingrained in our lives, so I doubt our children will leave social networking. They’ll just find another social networking medium where we are not located….yet (insert evil parenting laughter).
Since there are over 80 social networking sites out there, my question to you is how are you going to know what social networking sites your children have joined? Chances are, if they feel that you have embarrassed them on Facebook, they probably aren’t going to tell you where they went; in fact, they may choose to pretend that they gave up social networking all together. I don’t see that happening!!
In this case, how can you continue to protect your children from cyberbullying and online predators? They obviously aren’t going to friend you again (not that your intent was in the least bit to be a “spy”). There is a solution! Use the right tools that will give you a window into your child’s online world to keep them safe, even if you do not “friend” them.
Exegete It
Posted by: | Comments“Tell me more.”
Sure you want to know?
“Definitely.”
OK. Here’s how it is: first, you exegete the passage.
“Whoa! What’s that big word mean?”
It means to so interpret the passage that you obtain as the result of your work nothing more than, nothing less than, and nothing other than what the Holy Spirit intended you to obtain from it. In other words, you understand its meaning and purpose and how it applies. You know what the Holy Spirit was up to when he had the writer pen the words.
“Wow! All of that in one word?”
I guess I could have said it briefly, but I wanted to get just about everything into it.
“No wonder it helps to have one word rather than to have to say all of that every time.”
Yep. Technical terms are helpful that way. But there’s a danger in them too. People think they know what the term means when they are only vague about it. Or they use it to disguise what they really mean – which is something else. The liberals will tell you they exegete too. But they can’t (honestly) say that what they do fits my description of exegesis. So it works both ways.
“Yeah. Now what comes next?”
I think that we’ve gone far enough for one shot. I’ll just mention a couple of other things to whet your appetite. Next, you have to find the corresponding situation in your life or the lives of those to whom you will be preaching, so that you don’t force any application that the Spirit didn’t intend. “And then?”
Then, you want to be able to suggest possible implementations of the passage.
“Huh?”
That is to say, some suggested ways that the Spirit’s purpose in the passage may be actually put into effect in life.
“Wow! And you haven’t even begun to put it into form yet?”
Right. That’s for another day.
“Good.”
How do I choose an Internet filter?
Posted by: | CommentsProtecting your family online is vitally important. Using an Internet filter is a great tool to help keep your family safe online.
There are many Internet filters to choose from and some can be downloaded online for free. How do you know which one to choose? When choosing an Internet filter, consider the following questions:
- How many categories does it provide for blocking inappropriate sites?
- Does the filter allow you to log in to your control panel from any Internet connection so that you can check activity and make updates from wherever you are?
- Does the filter force Safe Search on all the major search engines and re-force it on if someone attempts to turn Safe Search off?
- Does the filter allow you to schedule when your children can be online?
- Does the filter block Phishing, Malware and Spam sites?
- Does the filter have social networking protection?
- If so, does it only cover Facebook, MySpace and Twitter, or does it cover over 80 social networking sites?
- Does it give you exclusive access to the child’s social networking accounts?
- Does the filter allow you to set the MPAA and ESRB ratings for online TV, movies and games that your children are allowed to view and play online?
- Does the filter send you real-time text messages and/or e-mail alerts when suspicious activity is happening?
- If you are struggling with temptation of inappropriate sites or have an addiction, does the filter have a no-override option where you turn over the password to an accountability partner and cannot override any blocked sites or uninstall the software?
- How many computers does the filter cover and how many computer users will it cover for the base price?
- Does the company give you a money back guarantee?
There could be numerous reasons you are looking for an Internet filter today. These reasons could range from proactively wanting to protect your family from the bad stuff that’s out there to your child stumbling upon pornography unintentionally to needing help with overcoming an Internet addiction. Whatever the reason, find a trusted Internet filter that can be tailored to meet your needs, and grow with you.
Knowledge
Posted by: | CommentsIn Hosea 4:6, we read, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (HCSB).” It was not because they had no access to it, but (as the rest of the verse says) because they “rejected” it.
The statement has to do with a nation. But it is just as true of those purporting to be “God’s people” as a congregation, as a household or as individuals.
Lack of Knowledge—and, in particular, the willful lack thereof, is a serious matter. Christianity is not fundamentally an emotional religion although emotion plays a secondary and derivative part in it. It is a religion propagated by teaching. It is a religion of truth. It is a religion of propositions. It is a religion that is logical. It is a religion of a Book. It is, primarily, a religion in which everything depends upon a message—the Gospel. Apart from knowledge of and belief in the vicarious death and bodily resurrection of Jesus, there is no Christianity—regardless of what may be taught in its name.
In Hosea, not only the people in general, but the prophet, the priest and the individual are singled out. God says that since they rejected Him, He will reject them.
That is a tragic fact. But how true it is of so many in this land where the message of salvation is widely spread by word of mouth, TV and radio, the printed page. There is no excuse for not knowing it; there is less excuse for rejecting it once one does know.
Knowledge has to do not merely with the communicating of facts. In the passage, as elsewhere in Scripture, it refers to facts believed, and acted upon—what some have called “experimental knowledge.” It refers to acceptance, ready compliance and dependence upon the message that is preached.
Counselor, your counselee will not be helped unless he first knows the truth—then accepts is as true and that upon which he depends for his life and eternity. Don’t assume more than you should. Be certain that he understands and trusts basic Christian knowledge of the truth.
For Now . . .
Posted by: | CommentsOften, I’ve been charged with being critical of others. But I have hardly been charged with being critical of those in the basic Nouthetic counseling camp. Yet, interestingly enough, I find that, as of late, some of these very persons have had little hesitation out attacking my writings—and even me personally. This is perfectly all right so long as what they say is accurate and the system that they propose (indeed, there seems to be such a system growing) is, indeed, genuinely an improvement over what I have set forth. But to “advance” is not always an advantage. The question is—what direction is this new way of counseling taking?
I see several serious deviations taking this “new” system back to a number of the old unbiblical ways that we thought we had put to bed. Let me mention but a few.
First, exegesis is minimized, and in its place we discover an emphasis on feelings, a superficial use of the Scriptures, “getting to know people,” and the lot. One whole book, for instance, is based on a faulty, superficial, misinterpretation of Ezekiel 14. Here was a people, being carried away into Babylon, largely because of its worship of the images of false gods rather than Yahweh. Yet their devotion to these images was so strong that what they could not do physically, they were doing spiritually—they were carrying away images of them in their hearts (Ez. 14:3,4,6,7) .
Throughout Ezekiel, true images of genuine false gods of the time, (such as Moloch) are in view. The first half of His book is consumed with condemning such idolatry. As a result, God’s “four sore judgments” (v.21) were about to fall upon them. Yet, they persisted in spite of Ezekiel’s last minute warning to repent and turn their faces from such idols (v.6).
Now, the book in question, “uses” the Ezekiel passage to set forth the fallacious idea that these idols were being manufactured in the hearts of the rebellious Jews, and that, rather than idols representing false pagan gods, the passage supports the concept of the human heart being the source of sin-specific idols of those who produce them. So, totally failing to do the exegesis of the passage necessary to proclaim God’s truth, the passage is “made” to support an unbiblical view which (certainly) was the furtherest thing from Ezekiel’s mind when he wrote. And, a view that leads counselors in a wrong direction.
That view, largely being propagated by another brother, who does little, if any, true exegesis of passages, but largely intellectualizes (playing around with nuances of various sorts), has been spread all over the counseling world. Among other things, the concept makes Scripture (with little use of the same) teach that we are allowed to search out the idols specific to each person in order to counsel him (whether it be an idol of laziness, lust, or whatever). Of course, the Ezekiel passage has no such counseling construct within it (nor does any other passage). And it teaches absolutely nothing about human beings manufacturing heart idols. Indeed, the Bible teaches quite another concept that is contrary to this view: it denies the ability of others to know another person’s heart.
Let’s examine a few verses with reference to this concept. First, at the dedication of Solomon’s temple, in his prayer, he emphatically affirmed that God “alone” knows human hearts (1 Kings 8:39). Moreover, God tells us that man looks on the outward appearance [man’s territory], but that He looks on the heart [His territory] see 1 Samuel 16:7. Even Paul was cautious not only about judging others’ hearts, but even about judging his own (See 1 Corinthians 4:3-5). These are only a few of the consistent teachings of Scripture about the same thing. Man has the right to ask others what their desires are but, as in Paul’s case, even one’s own assessment is questionable. We can watch, and listen, but we cannot discover another’s heart problems. Moreover, as we have seen, to discover individual idols, within a complex person who isn’t sure of himself (as Paul said), again, seems quite presumptuous.
Much more could be said about other aspects of this developing system, which contains elements of redemptive-historical speculation replacing exegesis, and of Gospel sanctification—rather than sanctification of Spirit-enabled effort—must be reserved for another place. For now, let me simply warn you that the names of at least 4-5 rather prominent persons have become associated with the new system, so you ‘re likely to encounter its tenets soon, if not later. All I want to say now is beware. It’s adoption will destroy your counseling ability, and you are likely to discourage your counselees as well as yourself.
For Now . . .
Posted by: | CommentsOften, I’ve been charged with being critical of others. But I have hardly been charged with being critical of those in the basic Nouthetic counseling camp. Yet, interestingly enough, I find that, as of late, some of these very persons have had little hesitation out attacking my writings—and even me personally. This is perfectly all right so long as what they say is accurate and the system that they propose (indeed, there seems to be such a system growing) is, indeed, genuinely an improvement over what I have set forth. But to “advance” is not always an advantage. The question is—what direction is this new way of counseling taking?
I see several serious deviations taking this “new” system back to a number of the old unbiblical ways that we thought we had put to bed. Let me mention but a few.
First, exegesis is minimized, and in its place we discover an emphasis on feelings, a superficial use of the Scriptures, “getting to know people,” and the lot. One whole book, for instance, is based on a faulty, superficial, misinterpretation of Ezekiel 14. Here was a people, being carried away into Babylon, largely because of its worship of the images of false gods rather than Yahweh. Yet their devotion to these images was so strong that what they could not do physically, they were doing spiritually—they were carrying away images of them in their hearts (Ez. 14:3,4,6,7) .
Throughout Ezekiel, true images of genuine false gods of the time, (such as Moloch) are in view. The first half of His book is consumed with condemning such idolatry. As a result, God’s “four sore judgments” (v.21) were about to fall upon them. Yet, they persisted in spite of Ezekiel’s last minute warning to repent and turn their faces from such idols (v.6).
Now, the book in question, “uses” the Ezekiel passage to set forth the fallacious idea that these idols were being manufactured in the hearts of the rebellious Jews, and that, rather than idols representing false pagan gods, the passage supports the concept of the human heart being the source of sin-specific idols of those who produce them. So, totally failing to do the exegesis of the passage necessary to proclaim God’s truth, the passage is “made” to support an unbiblical view which (certainly) was the furtherest thing from Ezekiel’s mind when he wrote. And, a view that leads counselors in a wrong direction.
That view, largely being propagated by another brother, who does little, if any, true exegesis of passages, but largely intellectualizes (playing around with nuances of various sorts), has been spread all over the counseling world. Among other things, the concept makes Scripture (with little use of the same) teach that we are allowed to search out the idols specific to each person in order to counsel him (whether it be an idol of laziness, lust, or whatever). Of course, the Ezekiel passage has no such counseling construct within it (nor does any other passage). And it teaches absolutely nothing about human beings manufacturing heart idols. Indeed, the Bible teaches quite another concept that is contrary to this view: it denies the ability of others to know another person’s heart.
Let’s examine a few verses with reference to this concept. First, at the dedication of Solomon’s temple, in his prayer, he emphatically affirmed that God “alone” knows human hearts (1 Kings 8:39). Moreover, God tells us that man looks on the outward appearance [man’s territory], but that He looks on the heart [His territory] see 1 Samuel 16:7. Even Paul was cautious not only about judging others’ hearts, but even about judging his own (See 1 Corinthians 4:3-5). These are only a few of the consistent teachings of Scripture about the same thing. Man has the right to ask others what their desires are but, as in Paul’s case, even one’s own assessment is questionable. We can watch, and listen, but we cannot discover another’s heart problems. Moreover, as we have seen, to discover individual idols, within a complex person who isn’t sure of himself (as Paul said), again, seems quite presumptuous.
Much more could be said about other aspects of this developing system, which contains elements of redemptive-historical speculation replacing exegesis, and of Gospel sanctification—rather than sanctification of Spirit-enabled effort—must be reserved for another place. For now, let me simply warn you that the names of at least 4-5 rather prominent persons have become associated with the new system, so you ‘re likely to encounter its tenets soon, if not later. All I want to say now is beware. It’s adoption will destroy your counseling ability, and you are likely to discourage your counselees as well as yourself.
No More Bible Bandaids #2
Posted by: | CommentsIn the last article I introduced the ministry situation of a youth group member—let’s call him Joel—who has begun to date and have sex with an unbeliever. And I advocated for an approach to the Bible that is sensitive to its nature as an unfolding story of God’s redemption centering on Jesus Christ. But how we read Scripture is only one side of the ministry equation. To apply the Bible to our contemporary lives we need to “read” (understand) people wisely as well. Here we follow the Bible’s lead because in it God speaks His redemptive word to his people as saints, sufferers, and sinners.
Why is it important to highlight these aspects of our identity as believers? They describe our experience before Jesus returns to consummate his kingdom. Another way of saying this is that each person—including Joel—is wrestling in some way with two problems. The first is the problem of identity and purpose: who am I and what in the world should I be doing? (This corresponds to God’s address to us as saints.) The second is the problem of evil: evil from outside ourselves (which corresponds to our experience as sufferers) and evil from within ourselves (which corresponds to our experience as sinners.) Let’s look at each of these briefly.
Scripture often explicitly reminds God’s people of their true identity as image bearers (Gen. 1:26) and chosen, forgiven and redeemed children (Eph. 1:3-14; Gal. 4:6-7). Perhaps Joel has forgotten his high privilege and calling, and that he has been set apart for his own good and God’s glory. Perhaps he needs you to recount the many ways God has worked in his life over the years growing up in a Christian family.
The Bible also addresses our experiences as sufferers. The Israelites in the wilderness, the psalmists crying for God to show himself faithful, the prophets lamenting during the exile, the groaning of God’s children as we wait for the day when there will be no pain. Suffering is part of the warp and woof of life this side of glory. Are you attentive to Joel’s suffering? What if you knew that he had been snubbed repeatedly by the most popular girl in the church? Or that his parents were in the middle of a messy divorce? Wouldn’t that shape your overall approach to him?
Of course, Scripture also addresses our experience as sinners. As Christians we continue to struggle with the downward pull of sin in our lives. Throughout the Bible God calls his people to repentance and faith, to turn from empty ways of living and to walk in his righteous ways. There is no doubt Joel is in sin and loving ministry to him must explore the heart motives that underlie his actions (Luke 6:43-45) and must involve a call to repentance. To ignore that fact is to say “Peace, peace” when there is no peace (Jer. 6:14).
We need to be attentive to Joel’s experience as a saint, sufferer, and sinner. All three aspects of his experience are important, although we may be tempted to zero in on his sin to the exclusion of everything else. But God approaches his people in multifaceted ways; his redemptive words confirm Joel’s identity as a chosen child of God, comfort him in the midst of suffering, and confront the ways he is turning away from God.
(Adapted from the book: CrossTalk: Where Life & Scripture Meet, New Growth Press, 2009)
Mike Emlet is a counselor and faculty member at CCEF.
To share this article with your friends, you may use the buttons below to email or post it to various social media outlets.
You Are Too Critical of Others
Posted by: | CommentsNote: The following essay is an excerpt from Dr. Adams’ as of yet unpublished manuscript entitled Adams’ Answers…Objections from Critics.
I want you to know that I do not enjoy criticizing others who have gone wrong in their counseling. I believe, however, that this criticism is fair and honest—and needed. But “too critical?” How can one be too critical of those who misrepresent our Lord Jesus Christ? Take for instance the “need” pyramid of Abraham Maslow that has led to much wrong thinking and even serious misinterpretation of Scripture on the part of “Christian” counselors. When the self-actualization, self-esteem movement came along, there were many who hopped on board. In order to justify using this non-Christian, unbiblical belief system, there were those who taught that God had to redeem us because we were so valuable to him. This theology, which bases the saving death of Christ upon our supposed great worth, flatly contradicts the biblical teaching about grace. There was nothing in us to commend us to God; our redemption issued purely out of His undeserved mercy and goodness.
Moreover, in order to square the Bible with Maslow’s thought, many declared that there are three great commandments: to love God, neighbor, and self. Self-love is presupposed in the command to love others as one already loves himself. There is no need to learn self-love; we have too much of it already. Our problem is to learn to love our neighbor in the same way.
Indeed, to posit three commandments (the third non-commandment being more basic than the other two since one supposedly cannot love others until he learns to love himself) directly clashes with Jesus’ words, “On those two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22: 40). In the context Jesus also distinctly refers to a first and second commandment, but never to a third.
Now the question had to do with being too critical of others. Am I too critical? I don’t think so! When such irresponsible use of the Word of the living God is published and sent into all parts of the church, it is necessary to expose it for what it is—a cover up for the eclectic practices of those who claim to be doing Christian counseling, but are not. Unless the public is made aware of such practices, they may buy into them and go astray. It is important to attempt to counter false teaching and Scripture twisting at every level where it has been proclaimed whenever possible. Those of us who are ordained to the ministry of the Word are called upon to defend God’s flock from false teachers within and without the church environs. This is a duty often neglected. It is time to call on the carpet those who intentionally (or otherwise) misuse Scripture and represent what they are saying as God’s truth (when He said no such thing). Ideally, the denominations to which they belong ought to be knocking on their doors to do this. But since they are not, someone who cares for the flock of God must do it—even if he is raked over the coals for doing so.
Do you know who your daughter’s role model is?
Posted by: | CommentsWhat do Montana Fishburne, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson and Jenna Jameson all have in common? All of these are women in the main stream media and have released porn movies in recent years. Some of the movies were “leaked” tapes of the women, but that doesn’t negate the content. And apparently Heidi Montag has a video on the way. These women are all names that, chances are, your daughter knows. Montana Fishburne has been constantly in the news over the past few weeks promoting the release of her porn movie. She has even said that fans as young as thirteen are telling her she is their role model. Do you know who your daughter’s role model is?
A Google search of Montana Fishburne turns up 2,560,000 results. A search of Amelia Earhart only has about 1,490,000 results. One of the most noted women in American history, an aviation pioneer, turns up over a million less results than the porn star. It is no wonder young girls are confused as to who they should look up to.
According to Enough is Enough’s Internet Safety 101 Rules ‘N Tools Booklet, girls as young as eight to ten years old “may be influenced by media images…especially those that appear ‘cool’ or desirable.” By the time girls are between the ages of eleven and thirteen they “may try to imitate provocative media images and behaviors.” The main stream media images can be detrimental to a developing girl’s body image as well as her views on the expectations of women. According to the images we are surrounded by, a woman must look and act in an overtly sexual way in order to be famous and make a lot of money, the apparent markers of success in this society. Unless you tell your daughter differently that is what she might aspire to be.
You can’t make your child live life blind folded but there are some measures you can take to limit and monitor her media exposure:
<ul><li>Visit sites like pluggedin.com to get media reviews that will help you make age appropriate choices for your child</li>
<li>Make sure she watches age appropriate TV shows, movies and music videos</li>
<li>Know the music she listens to and what the lyrics are about</li>
<li>Install a trusted internet filter that will keep her from inappropriate sites online</li>
The best way to help you daughter is to talk to her. Tell her your expectations of what a young girl should be and show her what a woman should be by becoming a role model for her. Tell her how you feel about the images she is being bombarded with and ask her how she feels about it too. Talk to her about the women you admire in your life. What you think matters to her more than you realize.